Determaining the true worth of a man

I've been thinking for a while now about what dictates your moral ground. The driving force that makes people decide what is right, and what is wrong. Does the way you view the world help in building your character? Do the choices you make empower you or disempower you? And really, what is a person's character? Is it the same as your personality? Is it inherited or learned? And through all this, what is it that determains a mans true worth to others?

The following are the answers I've come up with. Feel free to comment on anything you agree, disagree or can or cannot relate to ^_^

Wikipedia's definition of morality is that: "morality is a man made concept. What is moral to one group, nation or country it can be immoral to another one. That means what is good for somebody it can be bad for somebody else." To me, adhering to the moral laws of our respective countries is a good thing. I think killing someone in a cold calculated manner (murder) is wrong, as is taking something that is not yours, or abusing others emotionally, physically and mentally. To me the principal of "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you" rings true. Or more simply put, " And harm ye none, do what ye will". (However I firmly believe that killing someone, in defence of a loved one or yourself is fine..you can only turn the other cheek so many times. And you only get one life!)

So morals are guide lines that we're brought up with, that help shape our world view. And the world around us is based on our perception of it. So yet again, what somone thinks can differ greatly from someone else, and who's to say that the views of others are wrong?

It is our perception of situations that dictates what we get out of life. So if we choose to view the good in things, and see negative things in an impartial light, then how can anything really be completely negatively? Of course if you're mugged at gun point and your bag, or wallet and cellphone are taken away, thats not exactly a positive experience.

But it could help you to be more aware of the things going on around you. It can force you to live in the moment, or realise that true value is found in living life now, and having a variety of experiances. The value in life isn't found in having millions of material possessions or accumulating trinkets which could be taken from you tomorrow, or destroyed in fires, earthquakes or any other kind of natural or man made disaster. Sure material comforts are nice, but they don't determain who you are.

Yes, if you're mugged it's traumatic and stressful, but it's your choice whether you want to become the victim, or the survivor. If you want to live in fear, or embrace tomorrow as a new day. It's how you deal with the situations life throws at you, that determain you character.


Personally, I believe that character and personality are linked, but they are not the same thing. Your personality is composed of the inherent traits you were born with, while your character is a series of behaviours that have been observed and learned. It's character helps us determain who we really are.

There are many definitions of character qualities. Some good qualities might be compassion and integrity, or honesty and helpfulness. While some bad qualities might be arrogance and aggressiveness and cruelty or concitedness. While everyone has a mixture of traits, it's the one's you show time and again that define you to others. And if you're consistently impatient and finding fault with others, I'm sorry, but no one is going to want to hang around with you, it'd be far too draining! So in a nut shell, a persons character helps others determain the true value or worth of  them.


Some famous quotes about mans true worth are below:

 Ann Landers once said: “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.”  

Thomas Babington Macaulay said: “The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.” 

and perhaps the most well known quote is from  Martin Luther King, Jr who said: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

All these people and many, many more all held to the thought that, it's not what happens to you, but how you deal with it, that shows your true colours. 

The following American Indian proverb sums up my point perfectly:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:
A fight is going on inside me, he said to the boy. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, fear, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, Which wolf will win? The old Cherokee simply replied, The one you feed.

- American Indian Proverb

Until next time,

Daughter of Dreams

Colds and Flu

Hmm, well since D's been sick for the last two days now I thought I'd post two of my favorite feel good recipies on here....

A Drink For Colds and Flu 

2 or 3 Lemons
1 Tsp Honey
2 or 3 Cloves
Cinnamon Stick
Ginger
Water

2 tots of Brandy

Squeeze the juice from the  Lemons and place in a saucepan. Add up to half a cup of water and bring to the boil. Turn the heat down to simmer. Bruise the Cloves and add them to the mix, along with a Cinnamon stick. Cut up some fresh ginger and grate into the mixture. Add in a tot or two of brandy and add the Honey, stirring well. Let is simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove the cloves, ginger and cinnamon stick and pour the liquid into a mug. The best sore throat and cold-buster drink I know - and very yummy!!

Another Good Remedy Is Homemade Chicken Soup

It's quite interesting to note that the herbs and spices added to the soup (like garlic and pepper) are all ancient treatments for respiratory diseases, and they work the same way as modern cough medicines, thinning mucus and making breathing easier.

 

 1 large chicken
3 large onions
3 garlic cloves
5 large carrots
5 to 6 celery stems
1 bunch of parsley 

A couple of button or shitake mushrooms

1 teaspoon thyme/mixed herbs
Salt and pepper to taste 

Clean the chicken, and then put it in a large pot. Cover it with water and bring the water to a boil. Dice the onions and garlic cloves, peel the carrots and cut them and the celery as finely as you can, wash and slice the mushrooms. Then add the onions, garlic and carrots. Let it boil for about an hour. Remove fat from the surface as it accumulates (And if you have animals, add it to their food bowls, they'll love it!) Add the parsley,mushrooms,celery and thyme or mixed herbs. Cook the mixture about half an hour longer, then remove the chicken. The chicken is not used further for the soup. (The meat makes an excellent chicken mayo sandwich though.) Strain soup in a cullinder and then salt and pepper to taste.

[Note that you can leave in the chicken pieces once you've de-boned them, as well as the vegetables to turn the soup into a stew...and if you're going to do that, why not make some pasta while cooking the chicken and turn the recipe into chicken and noodle soup]

Until next time.

Daughter of Dreams

The Valentines Day/Anti-Valentines Day post

h yes, the birds songs are in the air, the sweet smell of flowers in full bloom and the buzzing of bees and insects permeate most mornings here. The short skirts, dresses and bikini's are on display as are the men's muscle tops and cycling shorts. It signifies the start of Summer time.,

And today, on the 5th of February we are a week and a bit away from a very "important" day...

A day where, what was meant to be a sweet touching moment between couples and crushes...a time for romantic picnic's, dinners and admittance of feelings, has been corrupted and turned into a commercial, profit making occasion.

Refered to in America as a "Hallmark holiday" due to the amount of "Valentine" cards produced and bought.

Many people view Valentines Day as the one day a year where women are entitled to chocolates and flowers, stuffed toys and romance. While the men are allowed to drop their mucho acts and be soppy and sweet to the woman that they love...after all, it's Valentines Day!

But why should this event only occur once a year? Is it really a declaration of love that you are recieving from your beloved?

Or is it really a moment where, your significant other goes forth and buys what he is expected to, because he knows he will suffers dire concequences from the wrath of a woman he cares for and who now, feels scorned? (And trust me, that is never, NEVER a pretty sight)




A man who is forced by centuries of tradition and media pressure to declare through gifts or letters, his love, devotion, or attraction to another. He can't really say he was compelled to do so by real love.

Likewise if you do not have a significant other and are completely unattached, Valentine's Day will only highlights the fact that you are alone.

Here are a couple of facts about the rather obscure history of Valentines Day:

Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". 

Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honour St. Valentine.

Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. There was often a social gathering or a ball.

Another Idea is that Valentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.

The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.

Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. 

At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.

So in regards to this holiday:   

 Yes, my collection of teddy bears has grown significantly in the last few years

Yes, I do love getting flowers and chocolates from D. 

Yes, I do love declerations of love and affection. .

Yes, I love dinner with candles and soft music and

Yes, with a holiday like this, romance cannot be said to have died out completely...

But the deciding point for me, is that I have a man who cares and treats me to these things throughout the year. Not just on a day that has been decided world wide, to be the "acceptable" day for all the above things!

And in return, I also treat him. By take him out to lunch and supper and paying for it all, or buying something he's been wanting for awhile. Or giving him little snacks he loves when he's had  a bad day....heck, even writing an sms (or text) to let him know how much I love and miss him when we haven't seen each other for a while.

So I suppose the underlying message in this post, is guys, don't make this commercial holiday the only time in the year where you show your woman how much she means to you, keep it consistent, and heartfelt.

And women, show your men that you appreciate and support them throughout the year.

After all, a relationship goes both ways.

Until next time,

Daughter of Dreams

A Friendly Game

For me, last night, was Action Cricket Night. And the scene for it was perfectly set. A balmy evening, with a large group of friends of mine and D's in the air conditioned, indoors action cricket ring at one of our local malls.

Picture with me if you can: 

Me and D arriving to find ourselves in the midst of  a warm up game. We arrive as one of the girls was batting

which in turn meant there was laughter ringing from the enclosed  netted cage, and the four of us girls who were playing, spent the whole time trying to catch (and sadly miss) the ball heading our way.

The yellow cricket ball with acute aim seemed to find our soft spots, hitting arms and legs when you took your eyes off for 2 seconds,  wizzing at breakneck speeds past your head.

The atmosphere was filled with friendly comradery that, as soon as we began the actual game,

got tinged with the "must win at all costs" mentality that comes from having 13 testosterone filled

men playing on sides against each other.

All in all, it was a success! Even though our team (Captained by the dashing aspiring actor Mr S.C) failed to win (losing by a mere 10 runs) It was the sportsmanship, the banter and bruises that made the event so memorable. Which is why it's been decided this shall become a once a month activity ...

Which is all well and good, but waking up this morning made me realise that there are so many muscles in my body which should stay PERMANENTLY hidden, and not decide, that all at once they're going to make their presence known!!

So doing crazy antics without warming up, is definately not a smart idea 

But that is why, despite all the aching muscles, and wrath filled promises of a gruelling rematch hanging over our teams head, within the next month, we will once again, assume our awkward crouched positons, (and having *Hopefully* practiced with D in the coming month, I shall now not only be able to bowl superbly, but I will master the art of hitting the ball!) We shall keep a steady eye on the ball, and we will walk out of the carpeted cage and take our rightful places, as the victors!!

 

Until next time,

Daughter of Dreams

Welcome to my Crazy Mind

Hmm, the first blog post always has the most possibility, and can make or break your completely untainted record with viewers who either like what you do, or find it boring, uninspiring and irrelevant.

Of course most of the blogging out there contains snippets of the authors life, and it's never a comforting thing to have people comment and tell you how much they disagree/are angered by your post...conversely it's great to recieve comments on how much they like what you're doing and encourage you to do more of it!

So here I go stepping out into the uncertain murky waters of  blogging.

About the name I chose for my blog site:

The reason I chose the name "Sanctuary of Silence" is because, although it's paradoxical it perfectly describes what I want to do here.
 
The silence is understandable, as this isn't a vocal medium, its only words and images on a screen. But it is a place where I can come to to clear my head... and so, it is a Sanctuary for me. To put my thoughts, musings, daily happenings and questions out into the world wide web, for people to explore and (possibly? hopefully?) like and comment on, as well as add more depth to.

It's a place to explore the many sides of myself that are submerged, but lurking just below the surface. Hiding beneath the compacent brainwashed facade, and never truly "aired in public" so to speak.

Until now...

So feel free to stick around and browse through (what I'm hoping to be) my daily unwinding spot.

Until next time,

Daughter of Dreams